Respect !

During the course of my conversation with my wife i came to know that Chetan Bhagat has written in Times of India about women and the article has gone viral big time.

It made me curious as there are umpteen attempts at writing women centric articles for various reasons but what is so special about this one that has made people go bonkers. I was not able to locate the article directly on the newspaper's site but i found the content on a blog  (sorry for not taking prior permission to link!).

As i read through the article, it was evident why the article was so popular. It made sense. Not in any arbit way, but in a very matter-of-fact and straight to the point kind of a way. The premise is based on the findings of a survey which lists Indian women as the most stressed in the world. The research cited states that 87% of
the Indian women are under acute stress vis-a-vis ~50% American women.

Our sensibilities want us to think on the contrary relating higher workload and a higher status of living to cause more stress but the reality is quite different.

The article was a winning one because it not only outlines the problem but also proposes simple and effective measures to counter it too. I also totally agreed with the solutions laid out to help our ladies de-stress.

There were 5 core points: in-laws, undervalued at work, undervalued at home, balancing home and office, peer pressure. Now i know that the list is not exhaustive and you may know women who are not stressed by all/any/some of these but then this talks about our average lady. If you or someone you know do not fall into any of these categories, congratulations !! you/they are ahead of the curve.

For those who fall in any of the above categories, go read the article to get a fresh perspective in life. If you are still hooked to what i have written here, below is my perspective (largely rehashed and developed on the article only, sorry for the lack of originality)

In-laws (or should i say Relatives) are an integral component of the indian family system. Can't live with them, can't live without them (hopefully!) but then being married does not come with a contract of a personality change. You were chosen for what you were, you fell in love by being what you were, agreed there are additional responsibilities to take care of but you are not part of the Transformers !! Stay that way !! All expectations can never be met, just meet your own expectations and stay happy !

If you are working and sincere towards your work, you are an asset. Do not be emotionally attached to the workplace. There are better options who would give you your true worth. Go for the heady feeling, liberate yourself and work where you are appreciated. The positive atmosphere would reflect in your feeling of well being.

Undervalued at home, your poor husband does not know what he is getting into. He would probably never be able to achieve all that you do singlehandedly in double the time. Trust me, i have been living away for a long time (solely due to work :)) and life rears it ugly face everyday. Its the lady who acts like a shield and paints a rosy picture.
To all men - the ladies of your house do more than you can imagine. Show some respect, if not then just shut up or do it yourself, you will soon figure out.

Balancing home and office repsonsibilities and peer pressure are something that most ladies of the day face. As chetan bhagat put it..." This is not an exam, you don't need an A+". Look around you, if your family is happy with whatever you do for them , if your friends are there around you, if life is going smooth - stop and smell the roses. There is no end to desires and ambitions, learn to count your blessings.

I am writing this because in the recent years i have come across women who balance a lot of things while still going about their lives cheerfully. Respect !

Unbecoming me

Its been an year at the new 'workplace'. I can very confidently say that now i have transformed in to a true landlubber. The history of a sea-life has become what i just said, "history". The transition has been fast, breakneck at times, but it has been largely the way i had wanted.

During the transition, i encountered numerous people and their varying degrees of dismissive attitudes:

"OMG!!! you are going to quit sea!!!! what will you do? Can you do anything else" (As if i was destined to be a sailor from the womb itself)

"You wont be able to do it, it is not as easy as it sounds!" (As if they were paying me to sit on my a** on the ship)

"Please dont quit sea, you have responsibilities!!!" (My God! as if they would have welcomed my quitting if i was in a parallel universe)

...and so on and so forth

Had i heard or paid heed to any/all of them, i may have still been sailing and thinking about why i am doing what i am doing? i realized on the first sail itself that i need my support group of friends and family within easy reach. Its not convenient when you have to pay $24 for a 20 min phone-call through satellite in which there's a voice delay of a few seconds.

Internet, what's that?? Till a few years ago it was considered an unnecessary luxury and additional cost to have a VSAT system on board. The companies have only now extended the facility on board and that is also not all pervasive, so i needed to be somewhere stable. A place from where i could connect easily, network, call, drive, meet, greet, play, laugh and all that with all those around me.

I wanted a routine. Routine is boring but then it is better than the unknown alarm waking you up every night and being on your toes throughout. Some are wired that way, i was not.

Yes, the life has become more routine now. I wake up, eat, go to office, slog the day in a chair, the waistline has moved north by a couple of inches, i come back home, watch tv, sleep...but there is the assurance that i am there for those who need me and vice versa.

Living/settling in a new city is not easy, that has become the latest challenge, life has become different but i have successfully passed an year of it.

The challenges are still there and would always be till the last day, only their classification has changed.

The 'me' is still the same as i was before but happy.
Happy to have proved my detractors wrong.
Happy to have been able to achieve what i have.
Happy to be me.

The Middle Eastern Mirage: Doha and therabouts...

On these business trips to "exotic" locations, myriad thoughts keep crossing my mind at any given point in time. There are things that strike me as odd or unusual or different and i try to make a mental note of it but more often than not, they slip out of the mind when i actually sit down to describe a place i have just been to.

But as i circled over Doha in Qatar, my imaginary visualization of the cityscape was instantly shattered. Having been to and transited Dubai quite frequently, the opulence has somehow become a benchmark within the middle eastern region but Doha set the image straight in an instant. From no angle, except maybe looking at the high-rises in the Business district or some of the Bugatti, Lamborghini, Bentley showrooms aside, you cannot make out that this is the country with the world's highest GDP per capita and the residents are supposed to be pretty affluent.

Its all constructed in the same sandy color buildings and there is nothing beyond 6-7 KMs in any direction. Doha has been the hotseat for many a sporting activities including the Doha Open, The Asian Games of 2006 and more recently winning the bid to host the World Cup Soccer in 2022. But looking at the condition of the country at the moment, it poses a big question mark.

The Olympic stadium built for the Asian games now hosts other events but over the dusty skyline of the city and its remote location, it resembles an eerie building on some faraway distant planet shrouded in reddish brown sand. The architecture is marvelous and most probably the country would be able to construct a new stadium for soccer fans but then it really needs to overhaul itself completely from the perspective of town planning.

Doha reminded me of Cinderella, a beautiful girl whose beauty was under wraps for most part of her life, compared to her more glamorous cousins (read: Dubai). Doha appears just like Cinderella, plain, simple, contended and having the potential to outshine itself but then the world has already started equating the middle eastern opulence to that of Dubai and Doha would have to keep up.

The buildings, specially in the center of the town, are old and creaky. They reek of neglect. There is ample construction going on all around and these dwellings are being razed and most probably a glitzy structure would develop but i dont know in what time. Another dire need of the city is the development of the Public transport. You cannot expect tourists to be familiar with bus numbers and utilize them for commutation. Getting taxis was a big headache, they have won the bid for the cup but if these things are not rectified, they are in for some major grilling. i am not too sure but maybe for them its just a matter of throwing some more Oil money and getting it renovated in a jiffy. I hope they have something up their sleeves to improve it.

The airport is functional. They have just recently started to modernize and expand it. Considering the Qatar Airways premium image being flashed on the TV screens, i had imagined its base to be something out of this world!! but sadly as of now, i would say that probably Jaipur airport is also better in terms of designing and handling the flow of passengers. Doha became my first international airport where i had to board a bus to be taken to the aircraft and then use a stepladder to reach the aircraft. A definite first for me, but am sure things are about to change.

Also, while i was mentioning money being thrown around, from my seat in the aircraft i saw couple of 7-series Beamers stopping right by the aircraft and some local families getting down to board the looong 50 minute flight to Dubai in a first class cabin. Price discrimination at its best.

But in the end, even for Dubai, the opulence seems to be a facade. We all know how the emirate trembled after the recession of 2008. New buildings and construction and glitz is just fine....but its still a desert beyond the city limits.

All the best Doha! Hope to see you in your overhauled look sometime.